The Art of Communication.
The gentle balance of sharing thoughts, dreams, feelings, hopes, dreams, fears, needs, hurts, disenchantment and doubts.
I have always been, until recently, a believer in honesty.
For various reasons open and honest communication is necessary.
Then you ask a question and it gets ignored.
You mention a feeling and you are made to feel bad because you mentioned a feeling.
You start to learn what you can and can not say, ask, mention, and gradually you learn that you’re really not all that important.
So why not just tell me so?
When I ask if you want time alone, to be left alone, for me to go away, why is it you could not say, Actually yes, I would like some time alone.
If I can not ask a question, it makes me wonder why.
If I can not share a feeling, it makes me feel redundant.
If I am not worth effort, time or something, then why bother?
There are times when we censor what we say because someone is upset, or a subject is tender.
If I can not talk about anything other than dinner or the pet without boring you or causing some kind of sarcastic or snarly defensive re-joinder – what am I doing?
Deluding myself because to stop means, those niggling nasty voices were right and you do not wish to be with me or around me at all.
You ever tell someone they upset you and they vanish, so that you now think you will never see them again and omg it hurts?
You going to commit that crime again?
Eventually you see the tactic for what it is..
..eventually the pain you are avoiding, will be all you have left.