Expectations.

Expectation.

Optimism.

Anticipation.

Yearning.

Hope.

Disappointment.

Disillusionment.

Pessimism.

Antagonistic Cynicism.

I awoke today feeling sluggish, suffering from a sore back and headache.

Of course I had awoken earlier and the dog had visited me, she has a timer, once the timer goes off she barks to leave (she believes in fair and equitable dog time for everyone).

I was delighted to have missed the mad dash about looking for Easter eggs.

Which brings me to what inspired this post.

What does Easter mean to you?

Does it pass like any other day?

Do you actually go to church?

Do you watch the 10 Commandments and then dive into a huge family dinner?

Does the Easter bunny hop by and deliver all things chocolate and fun?

Myself, Easter has gone through a few changes in my life…to learning Pysanka (Ukrainian egg decorating) with friends when I was 8, to a couple years of watching adults get drunk while the kids ran riot when watching the 10 commandments got to be boring (which for a group was usually right quick). To quiet contemplation and amusement at others who view it as chocolate heaven.

Whatever your choice is for the day, weekend or life, I hope it makes you happy, content and full of positives.

Balance.

This morning, I watched people trying to make up for someone else’s not being bothered to get his kids anything for Easter.

Now, these particular kids have a mother that spoils them rotten, serious understatement there.  If they are in a store and do not get what they want, they will demand it or scream/cry until they get it.

In my view, what you do is your choice, once you are an adult your going to have to live your life, either you believe or you don’t (in anything or anyone) and how you perceive things is going to be shaded by what went on as you grew up.

Wanting the best for your kids, that is something all parents should feel.

Someone might understand my current feelings, which is kids who are so spoiled that appreciation is out the window and demand fulfillment is what they see as their right of existence, are going to have issues as they grow up.

I stopped “expecting” early on, but occasionally I slip into forgetting to be appreciative of things that I get, time, attention, treats, inclusion…but somewhere between the two is a balance.

As I watch the Easter egg treats being made from chocolate, I can appreciate the desire for kids not to do without, the effort being made to do things as we feel they should be for kids.

Yet right behind that thought is the question, will they appreciate it?

Someone is going to say that it does not matter if they do or not.

However, if you appreciate nothing, view everything as automatically your right to have if you want it, what are you learning as you grow up?

Part of me thinks instead of chocolates, he should be DOING something special with them, taking them out of the routine into an area they don’t visit, quality parent time with eggs thrown in.

However, everyone has the right to raise their kids as they see fit.

Just wondering how quickly these kids will slide through to the place of antagonistic cynicism, or if they will realize how lucky they really are?

I did not need anyone telling me that other kids did not have what I did as I grew up, I got to see it and in grade 3, I started going door to door collecting for charities, at a time when that was still done…no one suggested it…the parents were surprised…but I think in the end it did me good to feel I helped even a little.

As bad as it gets, somewhere, someone has it worse.

Even children.

Find a silver lining day.

Today is now find a silver lining day – so at the end of the day, everything of import to you that happened today needs to be considered from the “bright side” of the bed. (Had to think of a way to make it amusing or erotic).

To be posted here later.

From the movie “As Good As It Gets”

Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sincerely apologize for breaking the theme of the day by asking the lady owner of the vicious terrier that attacked my leashed dog, if she liked her dog?
I like my dog, is why she is leashed…if she had a habit of attacking dog’s 100 times bigger I might not take her out of the house but she would be on a leash to curb the propensity towards suicidal tendencies.

The Move (The Day Of)

Okay so the move is done – as in getting the pile of stuff from point A to point B – during the move I learned –  

  • 51 inch TVs can fit in the back of a hatchback when the movers refuse to take them.
  • Some men can look at a situation and try to sell that they did not notice the back door existed – it was not taking the couch out the back and over the fence then around that deterred them – no they were in fact blind to the existence of a back glass door and only saw the window.  

Fair Enough.  

  • Being a buffer is tiring at times.  
  • It does not matter who you are avoid moving when the one organizing it or initiating it is PMSing – she did not kill anyone but that COULD have been because all the knives were packed.  
  • Making said person laugh is hard but telling them to stop worrying is like telling a rattler to stop rattling and just as hazardous.  
  • The place will be full of loose screws, not possessed by just one person or confined to any box…steel toed boots and hard hat recommended…bullet proof vest a bonus…if the teenagers have hidden anything it will be found (usually by those moving in) and the next time someone mentions moving, have them admitted to a psych ward for everyone’s welfare and good mental health.  
  • Oh and write down appointment times when you want other people to meet inspectors, plumbers and the lot.  

Moving 101  

  • Something WILL get broken – the Moving God requires it – smashing a glass beforehand will not appease them – so try to make it something inexpensive and less depended upon.  
  • Some people will get over stressed – in fact if your dealing with it or look not stressed don’t stop moving – or start complaining – they feel better if your helping them row the stress boat.  
  • No one else will view your possessions like you do- internalize that and handle sentimental crap yourself – period.  
  • Try to be the one who does not get sick, hurt or lost during the move.  
  • When your the one breaking up verbal skirmishes know your the one they will both be pissed at and don’t start mumbling the “who is on first” skit OR singing 100 bottles of beer on the wall -unless  
  1. your too far away to get slapped
  2. there are a lot of boxes between you 
  3. you must have camera aimed and ready to capture the expressions
  4. you can duck when they throw things
  • positive reinforcement will gain you cuss words and promises of violence
  • the dog might be concerned about what is going on but they will always love you  
  • if your like me and shopping does not relieve stress – don’t feel bad about not going – watching someone put on a door with the hinge backward will not relieve your stress but it will distract you.  
  • Resisting the urge to say something or correct said issue yourself is wise – be wise  


OOps

It has been a rough week…moving never is easy is it?

Okay for someone it has to be just never around me.

Yesterday I asked someone to take some rather heavy boxes downstairs for me, my arm still hurts from the incident with the dog…ya I know not blogged about that but anyway (later in a humorous way I will)…they did not so I carried them down on my left shoulder.

Ya, I forgot.

So right now my left shoulder/triceps/biceps/et all hurt like a not very happy over worked group of muscles.

Popeye where are you when I need you?
No…pass on the spinach.

Dog says, she has had enough of all this…it SUCKS.

She is right…genius dog I have here…okay gone for 5 days (no internet so this should be a rocking bad time as 3 room mates are addicts of the internet)…cold turkey…this should be interesting.

Have a good week folks…am sure I will have a lot to blog about if I survive it (1 has a boyfriend in Canada and this is going to kill them both…well that is what they say).

Dog and I will be back.

She ain’t so sure right now but hey someone has to be an optimist.

XX

Now if only I could close my left hand or lift something…great start to moving day.

Bionic man handy?

Thought not

Oh hey great weather for moving
Sing
Let it snow let it snow let it snow

Curiousity…and learning.

I shut down the part of me that thirsted for more years ago…buried myself in work, mundane and all the things that were “me” got mothballed.
I stopped writing, sharing, connecting and allowing myself to grow.
I have always had an innate curiousity and eagerness to see, do, learn, know…more.
A Bookworm I was.
I use to dream of travel, taking pictures in far off places, meeting new people and yes the romantic in me thought of that one bloke that I could love, and spend forever trying to figure out how he ticks.
Forgotten was my love of the open spaces and feeling the wind in your face…but lord please never let me swallow or breath in any more mosquitoes or flys…I know it might be a selfish wish but dang only thing worse was getting them in your eyes.
Wait, no I have never been on a Motorcycle…wrong guess.
I bred, raised and trained horses.
What? Headgear? Never…when I rode horses I was always alone, in the middle of nowhere, no one around and if something happened (and it frequently did) it was important for me to (quote the mom here) “fall free and not get dragged to death because your caught up in the stirrups”. She had seen someone die that way, it left an impression on her that made her hate saddles.
I have seen someone get hooked up, in fact they broke the stirrup of my saddle, before they could be dragged. Panic and overkill because I had control of the horse but I never complained, the whole thing would have freaked me out too.
Now, I am no Viking explorer…but due to 2  people popping up when I least expected it over the last couple years, I have dusted myself off.
Need some oiling and a little repair but the curiousity, desire to see and do, be…more…is back.
I am not going to say that every other day I don’t wonder if I am daft and want to return to that closet.
That closet I hid in, the bed I hid under, the safe corner where ever I found it, suited the time and place to get me through, in one piece.
It kept the bad at bay, even the memories I was too busy to deal with or acknowledge.
If the nasty person could not find me, they could not hurt me.
Problem is it also shut out the good people.
Walls are like that.
Even the ones with windows.
However at this moment, as I am washing walls and my dog is unpacking the not quite filled and sealed boxes on the bed…I am wishing we had the walls the Jetsons had…self cleaning or changeable.
Oh and spraying flash on the wall after the dog accidentally turns on the fan blowing towards you…
…just don’t do it…
Mosquitoes are preferable.

Regret

I entered a room and found a loved one, gone…passed away. I was outside doing chores and I will never know if I was called for help and they waited, hoping I would come and I did not…or if while I was outside listening to music through ear phones and doing chores, they passed in their sleep.
I had been through a lot before then but that “broke” me…for so many reasons.
I never got to say goodbye, to say thank you or do anything except walk into that room.
You know that you can’t change things, as they are happening sometimes, or as you are facing tragedy…no amount of begging will work, no “I am sorry” will be heard and what your left with is that picture and whatever your last moments were.
I promised myself never to forget to express my appreciation or gratitude, to say how I feel or apologize or even forgive.
That keeps me from regret…but some people would not understand it or why I am the way I am.
When do I allow that I will not continue to lose everything I care about and thus be afraid of caring?
Prepare yourself for the worst and expect the best.
Little did I think that would build hurdles and walls between me and others.

The new and the old.

Today is new. As I look out the window, I know it will never happen again.
This moment, the air on my skin, the sound in my ears, and the view before me, it all exists now, with this thought, and enhanced by this feeling.
It will not happen again, not exactly the same.
Time shared is more precious as it is done in tandem.
You may experience a million firsts, but do not lose heart, for the seconds will be as individual and meaningful.  For each feeling is new within it’s moment.  Each activity affected by those enjoying it, just as each breath is scented differently as you stroll through a garden.
Fear not the mundane or the usual, for only you can allow it to become so.  When the initial fear and discovery passes, then you can allow yourself to feel more, and the freedom to lose yourself in the moment or savor the second.
As your eyes see, this second, changes.
So fear not what comes next, but enjoy the confidence and the delight, of discovering more than you could have in the beginning.