You admire and respect someone, or group and support them, or perhaps something bad happens to someone you like, and as your heart goes out to them, yet again you ponder the line up of people standing there offering condolences, platitudes and support.
As you sip your tea, the words you speak feel like vague mimicry to your ears, yet you really do care, it matters, and as you depart leaving the crowd to carry on, you feel bad that there was nothing more, better or significant you can do.
Am I quiet because I do not care?
Do I step back to avoid the crowd because of indifference to the subject matter?
I may not always say things the right way, and there are times when I may not say anything at all but that does not change who I am or the fact that I do not say things I do not believe or feel.
Why waste my breath?
Or ink for that matter.
Three times recently I have had negative, disparaging and rude comments directed at me.
I can not think of how I would be the catalyst for anger as usually nothing I say is directed negatively at other individuals or worth the time and adverse feeling to illicit such from strangers.
No one holds the corner on a belief.
No one decides if you are worthy (or not) of thinking, believing or supporting anything or one.
I have held my thoughts, beliefs and viewpoints for a long time, and while I may be quiet at times, because a roar of voices hardly needs mine to make it complete, it does not change what I think, or feel. To me it is no fad or passing conversation piece, and no one has to convince me of what I already know.
However, I would point out that I conscientiously avoid bandwagons.
I do not have the desire to pretend to think something I do not, or to be nice to people I do not like, anymore than I would wish to attempt sleep in a tent full of mosquitoes. I figure they would all be as pleasant as the last.
I contemplated deleting my blogs and twitter, recently due to some things that were said to me of a particularly nasty nature, because I wondered if I really wanted to let that type of thing into my life.
As I watch the chorus of voices saying what I would, I do not feel that silence is an indicator of surrender, nor should it be taken as my caring less, it is just my general avoidance of crowds, chorus’ and bandwagons.
Sometimes when you are firm in your convictions there is no need to voice them while others scream about theirs, there will be time later to calmly share your views and maybe if the din is lessened someone will hear what you say a little clearer.
It is too easy to misread silence, unless you know the individual, you can not or perhaps should not be making assumptions about them, yet it is the easiest thing to do.
Silence can be a shelter for deep belief, apathy, negative perception, shyness or any number of other things…perhaps you should inquire or engage before forming your own perception…some of the best conversations begin this way.