Home » Musing » Curiousity…and learning.

Curiousity…and learning.

I shut down the part of me that thirsted for more years ago…buried myself in work, mundane and all the things that were “me” got mothballed.
I stopped writing, sharing, connecting and allowing myself to grow.
I have always had an innate curiousity and eagerness to see, do, learn, know…more.
A Bookworm I was.
I use to dream of travel, taking pictures in far off places, meeting new people and yes the romantic in me thought of that one bloke that I could love, and spend forever trying to figure out how he ticks.
Forgotten was my love of the open spaces and feeling the wind in your face…but lord please never let me swallow or breath in any more mosquitoes or flys…I know it might be a selfish wish but dang only thing worse was getting them in your eyes.
Wait, no I have never been on a Motorcycle…wrong guess.
I bred, raised and trained horses.
What? Headgear? Never…when I rode horses I was always alone, in the middle of nowhere, no one around and if something happened (and it frequently did) it was important for me to (quote the mom here) “fall free and not get dragged to death because your caught up in the stirrups”. She had seen someone die that way, it left an impression on her that made her hate saddles.
I have seen someone get hooked up, in fact they broke the stirrup of my saddle, before they could be dragged. Panic and overkill because I had control of the horse but I never complained, the whole thing would have freaked me out too.
Now, I am no Viking explorer…but due to 2  people popping up when I least expected it over the last couple years, I have dusted myself off.
Need some oiling and a little repair but the curiousity, desire to see and do, be…more…is back.
I am not going to say that every other day I don’t wonder if I am daft and want to return to that closet.
That closet I hid in, the bed I hid under, the safe corner where ever I found it, suited the time and place to get me through, in one piece.
It kept the bad at bay, even the memories I was too busy to deal with or acknowledge.
If the nasty person could not find me, they could not hurt me.
Problem is it also shut out the good people.
Walls are like that.
Even the ones with windows.
However at this moment, as I am washing walls and my dog is unpacking the not quite filled and sealed boxes on the bed…I am wishing we had the walls the Jetsons had…self cleaning or changeable.
Oh and spraying flash on the wall after the dog accidentally turns on the fan blowing towards you…
…just don’t do it…
Mosquitoes are preferable.

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