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Kryptonite

One of the main reasons why people do not share things, or indeed ask for help is, the reactions of others.

The loss of opinion, respect, value or regard.

No one can actually predict what another person is thinking, how they will react and once you say it, display weakness, need, desperation or fear, you can not take it back.

I sometimes think that is why things like messages in bottles are so popular, the anonymity of authorship.

Someone sent me a message once akin to “grow a pair” after something I posted. I forget what it was.

Funny thing is, they do not know me, yet that comment proves my point, as I am fairly certain the thing being commented on was relatively harmless about fear or insecurity, in this blog somewhere.

It validates the fear of reaching out when your at your weakest, most confused or emotional, and you know what your thinking may receive a negative reception. It’s easier and safer, to just deal with what is already on your plate. Unless you can’t, then you don’t.

No more worries or pain after that.

I knew a couple people who committed suicide. One was a hard core biker. In his case, I know that there was a fling being had between his wife and a rather inane fellow who was into drugs and that caused some whispers to go around about it not really being suicide.  I guess the impression of him was that he was hard core, he could handle almost anything, after all you do not get into an MC unless you are somewhat strong or macho. Oh did I forget to mention this fellow broke his back in a motorcycle accident and managed to make it back to walking, and riding again? Ooops.

Another was a fellow in his 30’s who had a family and was losing the family farm. It was he thought, his fault.

Both had friends, family, and there was a myriad of people that would have gotten them through those moments, one way or another, to realize that tomorrow is a new day.

In the first fellows case, he had a best friend, whom I knew, and it practically killed him to go through this because he would have done anything for his friend.  He understood the reasons why his friend might not talk to many but why not him?

I won’t touch on those who think the sarcastic re-joiner “slit up not across” is really helpful to the person who does actually broach the subject with you, at that point I am not sure who is in worse shape.

We admire strength, those who accomplish goals, or have steely determination.

There is less understanding for those who make mistakes, fall through the cracks or end up on that dark shaded square, for whatever reason, contemplating the unthinkable.

Unthinkable.

Obviously it is not, it is a common thought for many, some even consider it a sane and logical option to whatever is going on in their lives at the time.

The problem is not that they are thinking this, it is when they have no one to seek guidance, counsel or just plain conversation, from.

It is easy to blame the person who is gone, wonder why they did not talk to us, but at some point we need to change the stigma from that person to society’s view on weakness.

In order to know your strong, you must have experienced weakness, otherwise you can not appreciate your inner reserves of steel or patch those holes on the more vulnerable bits.

If we were all superman, heaven forbid any of us touch krytonite.

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4 thoughts on “Kryptonite

  1. The second to last sentence – is perfect. this past weekend a 15 year old girl who goes to my sons’ high school committed suicide. it was saturday a day before spring break ended. i have been sick to stomach all week – worried about my boys who have never had anything like this happen close to them (she also went to their temple). What made me more sick was the fact that i could – on some level, understand how she may have felt. just a few months ago, my depression had kicked in the worst it ever had and i was beyond despair. the whole thing is terrible. really, the second to last sentence is a perfect summary to the rest of your piece and to people who can in some ways understand – or just empathize even.

  2. It is a hard thing to adjust to, the realization that someone (or some people) can actually get to that point where they see this as the only logical, if emotionally determined, action.
    I hope your boys are okay, I know survivors tend to go through a lot of pain and confusion. Well I know I did.
    Understanding is not a bad thing, realizing that you have a vague nodding acquaintance with that path gives you the ability to be there should someone actually express such thoughts to you.
    It just makes me sad to think that someone that young,felt that alone and hopeless.
    I am very sorry for her family, it is a truly devastating situation that won’t be resolved for them for a long while.
    Thank you for sharing that though. I hope things are better for you and your family.

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