Asking for something, will not guarantee you get it.
Telling about a problem or a hurt, will not solve it.
Communication is a tool, a means towards goals.
It is not the promise of a result, it does not enable the harvest, pick the fruit or heal the wounds.
It seems easier to keep it all inside, because to bring it up, even in whisper, is to acknowledge whatever it is.
When you speak, whisper, write or sign, communicate, share, divulge or acknowledge something, what is that little glimmer of expectation in the back of your mind?
Occasionally I do not even realize that it is there.
We all have expectations, some of us try not to, some forget and fall into that murky puddle headfirst.
Do not expect anything to get better because you have spoken, written, shared, asked or whatever to express it.
I know that I defeat myself by falling into that pothole, expectation.
Anticipation is more hopeful, a sliver of daring that there might be a possibility, a wish breathed almost unheard.
Anticipation can be good but not when it topples over the edge to being expected.
Expectation has the edge of being promised, intimated, or perhaps even a right, or being owed. I have dared to illuminate thus I deserve…what?
Expecting certain responses, words, actions or resolutions is where our minds do us a disservice.
Christmas, does not mean you will get a day off, a present, a card, or even a kiss under the mistletoe.
Birthdays do not bring good things for sure, other than the fact that you woke up that morning.
Expectation can mislead, shade perception so that words spoken will be received a certain way, have a given result or even engender a particular feeling.
Expectation causes pain.
When your alone, thoughts whirling in your mind and no recipient within earshot, there is no expectation.
No embarrassment, shame or vulnerability…joy, happiness or positivity.
The words you speak, write, think are free of threads, connections, connotations and triggering responses from others. Because you are speaking to the solitude of self.
Your ears being the mirror to the echos of your voice.
When a child asks for a glass of water, they expect that wish to be fulfilled. The same child falls, gets hurt, depending on their environment, usually they expect someone to care, to take care of them and make them feel better.
When this child is told that they are going out somewhere, there can be an eager sense of anticipation, wonder and excitement.
They become giddy and happy.
Unless it is a negative thing, then you could find their expressions and manner to indicate dread, fear or resentment.
I have found it is a fault, weakness, to trip into the pit of expectation, to think that communication will improve or solve anything.
I confess that I have forgotten, like others, sometimes to acknowledge that communication should not carry with it the expectation that things will change, get better or even receive comment.
I must allow that if there is someone else involved, they may not hear you, understand or care…things may not improve, or even maintain, they may worsen.
Hope is the province of the optimist, not the realist.
Reality does not offer kindness towards the dreamer, the romantic or the emotional.
It does not answer expectation, or acknowledge it.
If you choose to communicate, expect nothing.
Except whatever feeling the act of communication releases whether it is peace, fear or acknowledged desperation.
However, hope is always an option, even when silence rules and you say nothing.
As long as you’re not gazing into the eyes of stark reality or nothingness.