Nothing I am thinking is new to many, but for some it might be, as for me it was.
Everyone has had a time (or they will have) where a situation occurs and what you consider to be the only response or action to take, is not thought of the same by someone else.
I made the mistake of thinking that this was a singular instance of divergent core belief or priorities.
I should have seen it as the way of the world.
We were living on the farm, 360 acres of farmland with bush, and we had 4 dogs. I was alone, as of the age of 12 I spent most of my time alone on the farm but that is yet another post for another day if I ever get brave enough.
The parents were at work, 100 miles away, and as they worked in the city we really did not have community ties (they were not the type to bother with neighbors and community).
On this fine sunny afternoon, knowing I would be alone till the next morning as usual, I opened the door to go outside and do chores and found the stoop covered in blood. It is a shock, it’s like everything stops for a moment and then you feel fear, because something is so wrong.
I love animals, I guess being agoraphobic, I have spent more time with them than people.
My first actual thought was to find what was hurt, and I started calling the dogs.
It took a couple minutes but they came and one of them, a beautiful golden coated mixed breed shep/lab/collie, had her throat cut.
I was 14, my first thought was bring her into the house, and call mom at work.
Now my mom was an amazing woman, she was very quick and to the point – pour flour on it. Pack it with flour and keep packing it until the blood cakes and stops flowing.
So there I was in the kitchen packing flour onto her neck, crying and saying those stupid little prayers that she be okay.
That is when the older half brother showed up with his fiance. I remember that feeling of help is here, it will be okay.
This was the moment when the divergence hit me.
This church going former military older half sibling, refused to take the dog to the nearest vet.
Instead he went to my room to sleep with his girlfriend and mom had to drive all the way home to take her to the vet, while I waited for her, tending to the dog and trying to keep hysteria at bay.
I was shocked at him because not taking her to the vet was not even an option in my mind, and I could not understand how this person could be that way.
He went to church but his first love was money, and his excuse was he was not paying for it (obviously not an issue as mom was taking her anyway) and well it would dirty his Toyota half ton so his citified fiance (a cousin via the step dad) would have issues sitting in it.
Divergent realities, different core values and morals.
The dog lived a long and happy life.
It is a lesson I wish I had remembered.
What we think is an automatic responsible moral response to a situation, may not even be considered by someone else.
In fact some people can’t even spell empathy much less feel it, and the only time they notice another person is to see what they can get out of them…something even now I can not quite fathom.
If I could maybe this would make sense.