Do A Good Deed Anonymously.

Do a good dead. Anonymously.

Why do we do things for others?

When they ask? When some rich well known person gets up on television and asks? When you see the bin for tins for the poor?

When I was in grade 3 I saw the Jerry Lewis Telethon and while the parents were still in bed I was off going door to door asking for donations and when they finally roused from their sleep, we drove down and dumped it into the big glass bowl.

There was no one reading out a pledge, patting me on the back or admiring my hutzpah for going out and doing that (in fact the step dad was grumpy, tired and grumbled all the way down to drop the money off).

It was the feeling of doing something, small, for someone else.

Cities have grown bigger, people are physically closer together, so they seek any distance and privacy they can get from others and…

…we all dwell in a cramped hothouse of desperate isolation.

This week I have been struggling with a back issue that is having a very pronounced affect on everything, from numbness in my hands/arms to knees giving out for no obvious reason, along with never ending pain in the lower back.

The visit to the walk-in clinic I will go through later.

We had some nasty weather, wrecked havoc on trees, increased the amount of water flowing in rivers and made the birds walk instead of fly for a couple days.

Next door, the lady had done her grass just before the storm hit, and she has a lovely big tree in her yard, so after the storm passed her yard was full of downed branches, twigs and sticks.

After a few days Precious and I decided to clean up her yard.

We both picked up branches, sticks and twigs, piling them off to the side for easy removal however she wished to do it.

Precious enjoyed it, she has always loved sticks.

I do not really know the neighbor, other than she works long hours, and part of me did imagine someone might mind another person picking up downed branches in their yard.

We completed our task, finished our walk and continued on with our week.

Last night I wrote down the new job listings for another neighbor, who I know is looking for a job but does not have a computer in house and has to go to the job center.

Tucked the note into his front door, unsigned.

Again, he might mind receiving notes with possible job leads, or he might appreciate the heads up days before he could go check at the office in person.

Non judgmental, as I do not care who works where, doing what, as long as no one gets hurt and your happy.

I know he is a decent fellow who pats my dog on occasion and ignores her flurry of barking demands for attention at others, which I heartily approve of, she will learn that she won’t get attention that way.

Nothing big, no one is going to say thank you but perhaps it made someone’s day a little easier.

People lost the desire to be kind to each other somewhere along the way the sentence “what do I get out of it?” became more important than being a good person or even an outlying part of the community.

Religion does not enter into it.

Besides, Precious and I needed the exercise (and she has not played with sticks in years).

Commonground

Why is it that everyone discusses the weather?

Ok, a few of us consider that a subject to avoid if possible because it is too common and cliche, however the reason everyone can discuss the weather is, it is common ground.

Alright, it is true that not everyone can commiserate about a Canadian Prairie Winter, but as an icebreaker how sunny, rainy, windy, gorgeous or hideous it is outside is an icebreaker (conversationally speaking).

It is beautiful outside, if you enjoy toasting in sun and sweating through humidity.

The weather is not the only common ground we have, it can’t be, but sometimes the way people act you would think that it is.

I have a lot of empathy, perhaps more than I should have but I am sure that I am not the only one to look out a window and think that people spend too much time seeing the differences, widening the gap between them and others without realizing that we have more common ground than just the weather.

Can a millionaire commiserate with me over not having money, food, clothes? Well with a few exceptions I am certain there must be a few that started out with little or nothing so ya, I think some can.

It is true, we spend so much time trying to excel at individuality that we forget those things that keeps everyone connected.

Lets face it, someone from Florida is not going to understand a Manitoba winter, heck some places do not even include block heaters as standard equipment on their vehicles as they are here.

So what other things keep us connected?

Hunger?

Romance?

Food?

Pets?

Hmmm depends on the person, we do not all share the same enthusiasms, loves or tolerances of other beings or things.

I am no better than anyone else.

I can not read minds.

So conversation and interaction are the venues which allow us to discover that common ground.

Maybe.

Why are there laws?

People.

I use to look around at the people I knew and think they were reasonable, law abiding and decent for the most part.

I knew of people that put their toes over the lines a little but I did not really have anything to do with them.

I have discovered some things that I never really wanted to discover and it makes me sad but by now I am not so very surprised.

Someone once asked me why, for the most part, I am in favor of the Police and most of that is, because they do the things that need doing for those who can’t do them, themselves.

You see, most people will never come across those who kill, rape, abuse, or will take everything they have, over and over, and not feel anything other than totally entitled.

The thing that I did not know until I discovered what some particular people were like behind those nice facades, was that people breaking the rules or laws, are not always as dumb as people like to think.

Seriously, some people know exactly what they can do and not get caught.

If your expecting them to feel empathy, remorse or to care one iota, they don’t.  In fact in some cases, they like to inflict mental and emotional pain on top of stealing everything someone has and deceiving them.

It makes them feel superior to accomplish the deed…and have you know they did it and got away with it.

I guess some people come by it honestly, in one instance I know of,  their father was a gambler, bigamist and thief.  Their grandfather was so pristine and shiny that he could claim to know the Krays and have em round the house for a visit.  They all grew up moving from country to country, scamming, stealing and claiming whatever government benefits they could (in more than one country at a time), the dad would change jobs and countries, marry, steal from the women, then return to his wife back in England.

Now the thing to realize is, these folk have all the things worked out on what they can get away with, and who will care about what they do. Who is likely to kick up a stink about what has happened.

That is why they do it the way they do.

So contemplate for a moment if the few laws that they do not break were not in existence?

You see like chameleons they can fit into their surroundings, there is no warning sign, no “danger Will Robinson” , there is just the snake charmer and the prey.

Oh yes I know that could not be you, could it.

The thing that amazes me most about people is, how many admire those that do what these people do.

Why is it that people think those who prey on others are so cool or smart?

Because this time it was not you and you don’t think it can happen to you?

Bravo for the con man, cheer on the thief, don’t blame the player…unless you are the one being played, robbed and losing everything you own because you trusted the wrong person.

It is sad, in this day and age, for people to cheer on the thief and disdain the victim.

I had a friend say that she contemplated suicide, being trapped inside such a web and losing everything, unable to get away she viewed her options as few or nonexistent…but as my friend said…then they would get away with driving her to kill herself without fear of repercussion.

I must say I admire her resolve, so much more so now than I did at the time, however I never looked kindly on the persons who put her in that position, while others blamed her for it.

We all live in an ocean of predators, with a few lifeguards we call police sparsely spaced about and some of the predators have the lay of the land down pat, so appreciate the lifeguards for what they can and do for you.

Some parts of the ocean you really do not want a close of view of, in so many different areas, my view is only on one.

The trick is not in realizing what is going on, it is accepting you can’t do anything about it, and surviving the extrication process somehow.

The predators have already moved on and your already just a spec in the rear view mirror that will soon be gone.

I feel pain today.

Let down the barriers and be, just be, without fear, pain or insecurity holding you back.
Acknowledge not the tears unshed, breath passed that tightness in your throat.
Be safe enough to allow yourself freedom to break.
Not what it is acceptable in others eyes to feel, or acknowledge but be free to experience you own feelings.
No one to tell you that you are unworthy to cry, wrong to be hurt, beneath the right of consideration or insult.
Look upon things with fresh eyes, not those coloured by the deceit, betrayal and abuse.
Khalil Gibran once said that, “Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.”
I think he is wrong, for the breaking does nothing but undermine the strength of self, and the understanding is not positive, but a stark view into blackness of the souls of others.
Can you view into such without being scarred?
Can you reach out and unlock the barriers of protection to dare let a fresh breath of life in?
Khalil Gibran also wrote that “Much of your pain is self-chosen.”
I beg to differ, and venture that we select words of others to stand in for that which we lack the capacity to say aloud or place upon paper.
Pain is not self chosen, unless you are at the core a masochist.
It is easy to blame ourselves for the actions of others towards us, allow them freedom from responsibility that they truly hold.
The wisdom to withhold blame, assign responsibility and accept in ourselves our guilt, innocence or stupidity, is never easy to achieve.
First we need the freedom, to feel, whatever we do, and divest ourselves of the imposed constraints of others, who for selfish reasons would deny us our simple right to humanity.
It is never wrong to feel, what matters is what you do with it, and that you somehow grow from it.
Pain does not make us stronger, or necessarily wiser, but it can be survived, and allow us to be kinder to others when we see them in situations which mirror our own.
© Simple Lady March 14, 2014

Walls and lightbulbs

Fact: The wall does not care  how many times you bang your head against it.

Fact: Your not going to dent that wall with your head.

Fact: Anyone watching is going to think you’re the one doing something wrong, not the wall.

Fact: Walls exist to perform their function, they do not ask why, wonder where they should be or if they are upsetting anyone.

Fact: Every time you hit your head against that wall, you feel it, and there is less of you afterwards.

Instead of banging your head against that wall, find the light switch, and turn it on.

Maybe with some illumination you will find a new thought, or even the reason why you keep banging your head against that wall.

The wall doesn’t care.

Or it would not be a wall, it would be something more malleable and considerate.

The wall does not care who wins or loses, who hurts or cheers, it does not want or miss anyone, it is just a wall.

Look out the window for a while, you might prefer the view.

Daily Prompt: Wicked Witch. Show us evil.

I saw a daily prompt which made me wonder.

Daily Prompt: Wicked Witch

The suggestion was:

Write about evil: how you understand it (or don’t), what you think it means, or a way it’s manifested, either in the world at large or in your life.

Photographers, artists, poets: show us EVIL.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is evil?

Is evil inside?

Or in the act of something horribly wrong?

You can show a person and say they are evil I guess, but were they always evil?  Does it matter?

To some professionals, that does matter.

You can not show a victim of something that we consider evil, because that victim is not evil (speaking generally here), and that would just be wrong.

People can have evil thoughts,, evil in their hearts, or do evil things but how do you show evil?

Is evil not a concept, like good, heaven, hell and well faith and hope…all intangible and difficult to depict with exactness.

Guns are not evil, they are tools which can be used in the aid of “good” or the process of “evil”.

I agree evil exists in the world, has shown up in horrors unimaginable throughout history, and will continue to.

I think it is too easy to label something or someone as evil and move on without examining causes, if only for markers, indicators of what could be seen to stop a repeat.

The holocaust was not the first such type incident – not knowing history would allow people to ignore signs, possibilities and indeed as that old saying goes, a repeat of the past.

I am sure everyone can name something they consider as depicting evil.

There is more such out there than I know about I am sure, and probably glad to not know.

I do not have to show anyone evil, because I think everyone has something that clicks into their minds at the mere mention of the word.

I know someone who works in Corrections, he sees people who the public consider evil everyday, he works to keep them separate yet humanely and responsibly cared for.

He says there is too much evil in the world, but he has no view on his charges other than, they are people serving a sentence and the judgement on them will come from some higher power, it is not for him to contemplate or condemn.

For myself I think that these folks get too much notoriety, some attention should be placed on those who do good deeds, without someone being bored with the positivity.

We have all heard of Anne Frank, but what is the name of the people who tried to hide them?

Or the others who silently do good deeds and save those who have no safety net, one person at a time.

Why does the dark entrance, and thrill, when it is so much harder to do good in the face of force and abuse?

Ah indeed, how to show evil.

It should be easy in the end, as a million visions pass through my mind at what things could be considered evil, now to take that and do some good…

…that would be something extraordinary.