Commonground

Why is it that everyone discusses the weather?

Ok, a few of us consider that a subject to avoid if possible because it is too common and cliche, however the reason everyone can discuss the weather is, it is common ground.

Alright, it is true that not everyone can commiserate about a Canadian Prairie Winter, but as an icebreaker how sunny, rainy, windy, gorgeous or hideous it is outside is an icebreaker (conversationally speaking).

It is beautiful outside, if you enjoy toasting in sun and sweating through humidity.

The weather is not the only common ground we have, it can’t be, but sometimes the way people act you would think that it is.

I have a lot of empathy, perhaps more than I should have but I am sure that I am not the only one to look out a window and think that people spend too much time seeing the differences, widening the gap between them and others without realizing that we have more common ground than just the weather.

Can a millionaire commiserate with me over not having money, food, clothes? Well with a few exceptions I am certain there must be a few that started out with little or nothing so ya, I think some can.

It is true, we spend so much time trying to excel at individuality that we forget those things that keeps everyone connected.

Lets face it, someone from Florida is not going to understand a Manitoba winter, heck some places do not even include block heaters as standard equipment on their vehicles as they are here.

So what other things keep us connected?

Hunger?

Romance?

Food?

Pets?

Hmmm depends on the person, we do not all share the same enthusiasms, loves or tolerances of other beings or things.

I am no better than anyone else.

I can not read minds.

So conversation and interaction are the venues which allow us to discover that common ground.

Maybe.

Advertisements

Original Thought.

Original Thought. Inception of ideas. How many people search online for words to express what they are thinking or feeling, yet at other moments think that what they think, feel or are going through is limited to them alone, and no one else can understand or has been there?

The grand duality of thought.

Is it the tenor or negative elements that we think are known to us alone?

Isolationism of self, even if unintentional, only makes the journey harder and the place your in darker.

Someone, somewhere, at sometime, might well have been through or be going through something similar, you never know until you ask, and that opens the windows to allow the light in and clarity has a better chance in the sun.

But what do I know.

What nice people forget…

…but should remember exist even in those we think we know and love.

A quote from Common Everyday Sociopaths says it best:

Sociopaths don’t have normal affection with other people. They don’t feel attached to others. They don’t feel love. And that is why they don’t have a conscience. If you harmed someone, even someone you didn’t know, you would feel guilt and remorse. Why? Because you have a natural affinity for other human beings. You know how it feels to suffer, to fear, to feel anguish. You naturally care about others.

If you hurt someone you love, the guilt and remorse would be even worse because of your affection for him or her. Take that attachment and affection away and you take away remorse, guilt, and any kind of normal feelings of fairness. That’s a sociopath.

Rose coloured glasses.

It is easy for people to look around them and see all the negatives, especially if they have never experienced anything else.

I have never looked negatively on my country, it has always been the best and most beautiful but even I saw some things as being a little less glorious, sophisticated and exotic, until I ended up in another country for 6 years.

I am glad that I have always felt proud of my country, and the view I have to how fortunate, intelligent, kind and rich in culture we are, which has only been bolstered from my experiences abroad.

I hear people listing all of our negatives, and am amused as other countries who seem fairer, actually have far worse problems than we do, including but not limited to the expectation of government support for those not working, open prejudice, ceilings to educational growth and hidden class distinctions.

Of course people who are spouting the negatives are not in the mood to hear that things really are not as bad as they could be, or are in other countries that seem to wonderful when you are not actually in them.

The art of appreciation is not taught, sought or understood, but it should be.

Appreciate what you have, where you are and those you love, for it is amazingly simple to lose it all and then all you have resting upon your plate is regret and sorrow.

Whirlwind of Ridiculous

I wonder sometimes if the world spins solely because people choose to be contrary or simply difficult, and if everyone got along the planet would suddenly cease all movement, and gravity would go splat.

The ex wants to exchange houses with someone, there needs to be an electrical inspection done.

Simple right?

I thought so, I mean how difficult can letting someone in and having them check the sockets and light switches possibly be?

Welllllllllllllll, going by the theme of this post? VERY.

This was the 4th scheduled appointment.

The first one I waited, the bloke never showed up, the second one likewise, the third one was made but I was not informed so well that ended up being a non occasion which brings us to today.

I hate missing appointments, they are made for a reason, people make an effort to come to do something and we all hope they are on time because we have things to do with our days but guess what? So do they. So I kinda like to have things down sorted, done and dusted.

This in mind, I walk the dog prior to their arrival, expecting that they would not be early, and get the dog done so that there is no stress about her needing to use the washroom.

I am walking back to the house and I see the guys van outside and think, oh well he is early (looking at my watch it is 1201 and the schedule window is 1200 – 1400hrs. I wonder if one of the 2 other housemates that are in the house let him in – but as I walk by the van to go to the door, he is sitting in the van.

Ok, he was getting himself together and will come to the door in a minute.

I take the dog to the bedroom and shut her in, return downstairs and the fellow knocks, I open the door to let him in and he is saying he rescheduled.

Say what? I was 1 minute late?

The housemate that he had spoken to is on the stairs yelling that he needs to go into every room and he is not going into hers  or one of the others…colour me confused.

So I get the guy to stay, but he confirms he needs access to every room and bingo – it’s not possible if she won’t let him.

So the fellow leaves, I feel like a putz for that, the housemate is ranting at me because they should have been told (yes I agree but it was not up to me to do that, I figured the ex would inform everyone as they are family)  and after getting yelled at I finally call the ex at work and they get pissy with me as well.

Hold up, I did not set up this situation, nor did I mess it up.

I walked the dog, was back in time, let the person in…that was my responsibility.

After the fellow leaves, with my sincerest heart felt apologies, everyone is off in a huff, and I think would the world stop spinning on its axis if everything just went smoothly and everyone got along?

I think it might.

However, as it will never happen, I won’t find out.

The ex’s way of responding is apropos for them, they threaten to move out on May 1, so screw everyone.

Happy New Year

If how horrible and depressed I feel right now is as good as this year will be, please forgive me for desiring to opt out.

As bad as my situation is, this evening leaves me sadder because tonight is, for many, a fun and lively night.

One friends family lost a son this evening.

One friend is laying in hospital, and everyone knows she has but a day or two left.

Another friend is going in for surgery in a couple weeks (cancer) and is not sure she will see the year out.

No phone rang with well wishes for the New year for me.

No one needed or wanted to hear my voice or know my thoughts.

I am left with the memory of a time when, despite having very little besides each other, and our pets, at least there was someone that wanted to hear me say Happy New Year, and give me a hug.

Perhaps that is as good as it will ever be, those moments that are in the fog of memory, at least they existed, once upon a time.

May everyone make it home safely this evening.