I feel pain today.

Let down the barriers and be, just be, without fear, pain or insecurity holding you back.

Acknowledge not the tears unshed, breath passed that tightness in your throat.

Be safe enough to allow yourself freedom to break.

Not what it is acceptable in others eyes to feel, or acknowledge but be free to experience you own feelings.

No one to tell you that you are unworthy to cry, wrong to be hurt, beneath the right of consideration or insult.

Look upon things with fresh eyes, not those coloured by the deceit, betrayal and abuse.

Khalil Gibran once said that, “Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.”

I think he is wrong, for the breaking does nothing but undermine the strength of self, and the understanding is not positive, but a stark view into blackness of the souls of others.

Can you view into such without being scarred?

Can you reach out and unlock the barriers of protection to dare let a fresh breath of life in?

Khalil Gibran also wrote that “Much of your pain is self-chosen.”

I beg to differ, and venture that we select words of others to stand in for that which we lack the capacity to say aloud or place upon paper.

Pain is not self chosen, unless you are at the core a masochist.

It is easy to blame ourselves for the actions of others towards us, allow them freedom from responsibility that they truly hold.

The wisdom to withhold blame, assign responsibility and accept in ourselves our guilt, innocence or stupidity, is never easy to achieve.

First we need the freedom, to feel, whatever we do, and divest ourselves of the imposed constraints of others, who for selfish reasons would deny us our simple right to humanity.

It is never wrong to feel, what matters is what you do with it, and that you somehow grow from it.

Pain does not make us stronger, or necessarily wiser, but it can be survived, and allow us to be kinder to others when we see them in situations which mirror our own.

© Simple Lady March 14, 2014

Chapter 1. Why I Appreciate Police.

I have always tried to be a good person and see the best in others, even when people said I was wrong and being too kind.

Guess I figured I should treat others as I would wish to be treated, see them as I would hope to be seen.

I discovered early on that there are many types of people in the world.

It’s not to say I did not get hurt, beaten, neglected, but that is not what this post is about.

Via my job I encountered people who were from all walks of life, they could be in a rush, hurt, upset, lost, angry, drunk, stoned and in need of assistance that only the police could give.

When someone swore at me, I would say thank you, and in the pause that usually followed my words I would suggest that  we discuss what the problem was. After all, I understood they were very upset and usually the surprise of my response allowed them to focus on the problem, not their anger.

The response they expected was not the one they got…sometimes that calmed them down and sometimes it did not.

The point was, it was not me that they were mad at, so taking it personal was normal but hardly helpful.

All the things I saw made me admire how the Police can cross all the boundaries of the various realities and deal with people in situations and circumstances, as best they can.

I am not saying all Cops are perfect and handle everything perfectly, because they are human, and again that is something to be thankful for as this allows them to treat people humanely, with care and consideration despite all the crap that they see.

How hard is it to do that, when they know what people are capable of?

Looking around I find myself wondering how they do it, when people can seem so normal, but their thinking is shaped by a very different sense of reality.

Not sure I will trust anyone ever again.

Thought of the moment.

As words of wisdom evaporate, surrounded by others hate, silence is your best debate, withdrawal your only logical recourse-if only in mind.

NonEntity

Nonentity
No one
Nobody
Nothing

You are not less than another,
Despite what exists in the mind of a bully.
One person may be pushed, pulled, bullied, ignored, and diminished,
They select the target.

No one is going to stand up for you,
No one cares unless it touches them.
No one assures balance or respect.
No one returns the value or heals the wounds.

Nobody will pick you up when you stumble,
When trusting wrong or blurred vision confuses.
Nobody worries about you, or counts you as special.
If you step off the edge, you will fall till you hit bottom.

Nothing is the content of promises.
Nothing is the weight of words.
Nothing is the value of empty apologies.
Nothing is what you become in the light of negativity.

How often do you need to beat your head against a wall,
Before the pain seeps in showing you the actuality?
You have no one, nobody cares and nothing is the destination before you.
Yet it is your fault, despite the struggle not to sink, accept or give up.

That boat needs bailing,
Your alone with the only bucket.
Feel the water on your toes,
Finally you figure out just how it goes.

All the promises of before have come to naught.
Expect nothing.
Accept No one.
Trust nobody.