Do A Good Deed Anonymously.

Do a good dead. Anonymously.

Why do we do things for others?

When they ask? When some rich well known person gets up on television and asks? When you see the bin for tins for the poor?

When I was in grade 3 I saw the Jerry Lewis Telethon and while the parents were still in bed I was off going door to door asking for donations and when they finally roused from their sleep, we drove down and dumped it into the big glass bowl.

There was no one reading out a pledge, patting me on the back or admiring my hutzpah for going out and doing that (in fact the step dad was grumpy, tired and grumbled all the way down to drop the money off).

It was the feeling of doing something, small, for someone else.

Cities have grown bigger, people are physically closer together, so they seek any distance and privacy they can get from others and…

…we all dwell in a cramped hothouse of desperate isolation.

This week I have been struggling with a back issue that is having a very pronounced affect on everything, from numbness in my hands/arms to knees giving out for no obvious reason, along with never ending pain in the lower back.

The visit to the walk-in clinic I will go through later.

We had some nasty weather, wrecked havoc on trees, increased the amount of water flowing in rivers and made the birds walk instead of fly for a couple days.

Next door, the lady had done her grass just before the storm hit, and she has a lovely big tree in her yard, so after the storm passed her yard was full of downed branches, twigs and sticks.

After a few days Precious and I decided to clean up her yard.

We both picked up branches, sticks and twigs, piling them off to the side for easy removal however she wished to do it.

Precious enjoyed it, she has always loved sticks.

I do not really know the neighbor, other than she works long hours, and part of me did imagine someone might mind another person picking up downed branches in their yard.

We completed our task, finished our walk and continued on with our week.

Last night I wrote down the new job listings for another neighbor, who I know is looking for a job but does not have a computer in house and has to go to the job center.

Tucked the note into his front door, unsigned.

Again, he might mind receiving notes with possible job leads, or he might appreciate the heads up days before he could go check at the office in person.

Non judgmental, as I do not care who works where, doing what, as long as no one gets hurt and your happy.

I know he is a decent fellow who pats my dog on occasion and ignores her flurry of barking demands for attention at others, which I heartily approve of, she will learn that she won’t get attention that way.

Nothing big, no one is going to say thank you but perhaps it made someone’s day a little easier.

People lost the desire to be kind to each other somewhere along the way the sentence “what do I get out of it?” became more important than being a good person or even an outlying part of the community.

Religion does not enter into it.

Besides, Precious and I needed the exercise (and she has not played with sticks in years).

Advertisements

Commonground

Why is it that everyone discusses the weather?

Ok, a few of us consider that a subject to avoid if possible because it is too common and cliche, however the reason everyone can discuss the weather is, it is common ground.

Alright, it is true that not everyone can commiserate about a Canadian Prairie Winter, but as an icebreaker how sunny, rainy, windy, gorgeous or hideous it is outside is an icebreaker (conversationally speaking).

It is beautiful outside, if you enjoy toasting in sun and sweating through humidity.

The weather is not the only common ground we have, it can’t be, but sometimes the way people act you would think that it is.

I have a lot of empathy, perhaps more than I should have but I am sure that I am not the only one to look out a window and think that people spend too much time seeing the differences, widening the gap between them and others without realizing that we have more common ground than just the weather.

Can a millionaire commiserate with me over not having money, food, clothes? Well with a few exceptions I am certain there must be a few that started out with little or nothing so ya, I think some can.

It is true, we spend so much time trying to excel at individuality that we forget those things that keeps everyone connected.

Lets face it, someone from Florida is not going to understand a Manitoba winter, heck some places do not even include block heaters as standard equipment on their vehicles as they are here.

So what other things keep us connected?

Hunger?

Romance?

Food?

Pets?

Hmmm depends on the person, we do not all share the same enthusiasms, loves or tolerances of other beings or things.

I am no better than anyone else.

I can not read minds.

So conversation and interaction are the venues which allow us to discover that common ground.

Maybe.

Rinse and watch someone else repeat.

You ever get into a mess, a big one, and whether someone else got you there (as in my case) or circumstances made a shambles of things, even maybe you just charged forth into the valley of 300 foibles without thinking it through and…

…well isn’t this one FINE mess?

I know how I got into my mess, well most of it, and I know now that there were other ways of handling my circumstances but at the time, when your IN the quagmire most of us are not stepping back and thinking logically.

My predicament aside, as I will write about that in future should I ever get the courage, it seems that once people know you have been through something, they seem to think you are an expert on that particular circumstance.

I am here to say, that is not always the case.

After all I was shot at once and I would be just as clueless and stuck to the ground if it happened today as I was then.

A former ex tried to strangle me, and I have not taken self defense courses so, I would be just as hapless should that ever be repeated (not if I can help it).

Con folk stole everything I had and got me into a foreign country, okay, on this one I am a little more knowledgeable.

So someone else is in a foreign country, brought there by someone they trusted and were in a relationship with, and they too have no money, freedom and well they are kinda screwed…slight adjustment in circumstances and physical situation.

When you think your faux pas or conundrum is a singular event, not experienced by anyone else, well I realize now that it is a bit big headed.  There are still things that happen to people that are indeed singular and original but that is in itself exceptional and rare.

Other people at some point in time have gone through something akin to what you are or did, slight nuances of difference taken into consideration, and well the outcomes are probably as varied as each of us are as individual human beings.

So when someone asked me for advice for this person who is stuck in a foreign country, no money, no family with money,surrounded by people who do not care or actively got you there and dislike you, with pets that they can’t bear to leave…

…I understand from experience, what they are going through.

54 days ago the people who put me in a similar situation after taking everything I had, including my identity, threatened to slit my throat, and the world was in turmoil.

53 days ago I boarded a plane and arrived back in my own country an emotional, psychological, financial and physical mess.

They managed to take everything I had and I ended up with nothing.

Yesterday a friend contacted me because she was aware of what I went through, and now someone else is going through something similar, in my country.

Well now there is a conundrum.

I still have not worked through everything but my counselor is amazing and very good at seeing things that I did or do not, though I do not need anyone to tell me how lucky I am now, I made it out with my dog.

There is still a woman, in Canada, who is broke, has diabetes, no family to pay for her return to America, no health care, and the person that brought her to Canada (unsure if it was a sponsor or what) is now saying they are broke and can’t even pay for her return to the states with her pets.

Alas I am still broke myself and looking for a place to live, and the basic necessities so I am not much help in financial ways.

I have made suggestions but the person living through any particular hell has to actually take the steps to DO or SEEK things to help them out of the circumstance they are in.

When one is on the edge of a cliff, looking into avast abyss of darkness without a clue of what is below when they step off, many things keep them glued to the mountainside unable to move and fear is rather high on that list, not to relegate shame, embarrassment, vulnerability or helplessness to non existence because they all contribute in their own nefarious major ways, but fear is the bow on the box that needs to be undone first.

Chapter 2. The Crux Of Alternate Realities.

Nothing I am thinking is new to many, but for some it might be, as for me it was.

Everyone has had a time (or they will have) where a situation occurs and what you consider to be the only response or action to take, is not thought of the same by someone else.

I made the mistake of thinking that this was a singular instance of divergent core belief or priorities.

I should have seen it as the way of the world.

We were living on the farm, 360 acres of farmland with bush, and we had 4 dogs.  I was alone, as of the age of 12 I spent most of my time alone on the farm but that is yet another post for another day if I ever get brave enough.

The parents were at work, 100 miles away, and as they worked in the city we really did not have community ties (they were not the type to bother with neighbors and community).

On this fine sunny afternoon, knowing I would be alone till the next morning as usual, I opened the door to go outside and do chores and found the stoop covered in blood.  It is a shock, it’s like everything stops for a moment and then you feel fear, because something is so wrong.

I love animals, I guess being agoraphobic, I have spent more time with them than people.

My first actual thought was to find what was hurt, and I started calling the dogs.

It took a couple minutes but they came and one of them, a beautiful golden coated mixed breed shep/lab/collie, had her throat cut.

I was 14, my first thought was bring her into the house, and call mom at work.

Now my mom was an amazing woman, she was very quick and to the point – pour flour on it. Pack it with flour and keep packing it until the blood cakes and stops flowing.

So there I was in the kitchen packing flour onto her neck, crying and saying those stupid little prayers that she be okay.

That is when the older half brother showed up with his fiance.  I remember that feeling of help is here, it will be okay.

This was the moment when the divergence hit me.

This church going former military older half sibling, refused to take the dog to the nearest vet.

Instead he went to my room to sleep with his girlfriend and mom had to drive all the way home to take her to the vet, while I waited for her, tending to the dog and trying to keep hysteria at bay.

I was shocked at him because not taking her to the vet was not even an option in my mind, and I could not understand how this person could be that way.

He went to church but his first love was money, and his excuse was he was not paying for it (obviously not an issue as mom was taking her anyway) and well it would dirty his Toyota half ton so his citified fiance (a cousin via the step dad) would have issues sitting in it.

Et voila.

Divergent realities, different core values and morals.

The dog lived a long and happy life.

It is a lesson I wish I had remembered.

What we think is an automatic responsible moral response to a situation, may not even be considered by someone else.

In fact some people can’t even spell empathy much less feel it, and the only time they notice another person is to see what they can get out of them…something even now I can not quite fathom.

If I could maybe this would make sense.

The substance which is translucent.

SunCloud in HD

 

Those who say dreams are not real have never felt the breath of a ghost or looked deep into the pit of loss, suddenly encompassed by the sense of emptiness, of being nothing.

It is not the solid, physical world which feeds the flame that warms the soul, keeping the heart free from the frozen wasteland of hopelessness.

It is the self, the dreams, hopes, fears, regrets, pain and sorrows that make us human.

All the things that make us who we were, are and perhaps will be.

We sometimes underestimate the power of hope or the lack thereof as fuel to the person’s purpose, existence and self.

That which exists in all of us but can not be touched or measured.

Sometimes you do not see you have lost hope, until you glimpse it again.

 

 

 

 

Dog Poo Fairy.

There is no Dog Poo Fairy

There is no Dog Poo Fairy

 

Really? There is no Dog Poo Fairy? You are kidding right?

I try to walk the dog once a day.

Getting ready to leave there are 3 things besides the dog that I try to ensure I have with me.

The only one that I will return to the house for if forgotten is, you guessed it, poo bags.

Now do not get me wrong, this is not a post of complaint, no whining or grumbling, but merely observation and a bit of amusement, self directed.

Recently there was an issue where I misplaced something during our walk, so the last spot to look was the little red dog poo depository box.

Don’t get me going on how much I did not want to go near it again, and amusingly enough, neither did the dog.

Holding my nose I opened the lid and peaked in, the item I had misplaced had not fallen in with the bag of doggy deposit, however 2 things happened simultaneously.

Well 3 actually.

The dog was pulling to not go near the box.

As I peaked in quickly and realized I recognized all the bags in their as being mine.

The last but probably most amusing was, I stepped in someone else’s dogs poo, 4 inches from the base of the box.

 I realize of course that this is the perfect set up for a rant…but the dog patiently listened to my muttering about the situation as we walked all the way home and discovered the missing item (camera) had not left the house with us (my panic over losing it was silly).

What inspired this post if not to rant about the irony and idiocy of the situation?

Well, it was the feeling of being stupid I felt at realizing the contents of the dog poo bin were all from us.

I am not sure if I should apologize to the poor bloke (or blokett) that has to clear the bins or not.

After all, I see dozens of dogs out there daily, either while on the walk or out my bedroom window, and well heck if they are taking their packets of puppy waste home to their own bins, I must seem horribly lazy.

I was picking up after the mutt the other day as a dog walker went by and I thought nothing of it.

After all it is my hound, her mess is my responsibility to clean up.

Had the person who left the deposit beside the box cleaned up, I would not have stepped in it.

As amusing as that is.

It left me feeling a bit foolish for seeming to be one of the few who picks up after the hound that leads me through the parks paths.

Perhaps that dog walker was having a chuckle that I should be so stupid as to pick up after the dog? Don’t know.

No, this is not the only instance where I get told that I am silly for thinking people should “obey” the rules but it is not conformity.

I like the area that I walk the dog in, and as I see the mess accumulating, I realize that others who avail themselves of those paths are going to feel negatively about dogs…as they do not know I pick up after mine, we shall get tarred with the same brush.

The sign I encountered amused me.

It also pointed out very simply that, a lot of people do not think like I do.

As each of the “person level” lights along the path get broken and are not replaced, garbage is strewn about and even the thirty something aged fellow out spraying weeds dumped empty bins in an alcove that most people do not venture into instead of binning them and the fellow on the motorcycle going up and down scares the dog witless…the beauty of the area that the photographer part of me enjoys, sinks.

There are no Dog Poo Fairies.

I think that they exist in the world of that “someone else” who looks after things that people just can’t be bothered to.

You know that whole clan of super people that picks up the garbage, assists the lost, checks on the drunks and investigates the screams…picks up after the dogs whose owners just can’t be bothered.

Now, I walk the hound on a leash as she is not use to other dogs and I do not wish to have her or another dog getting embroiled in anything, and no one getting bit.  This happened previously where my dog was viciously attacked and hospitalized after surgery for broken bones and torn flesh, after he (a puppy dachshund) was torn out of one of the boys arms by the attacking pair of huskies that lived down the street from us. It was after they attacked us that we discovered they were serial attackers and had killed another ladies dog previously.

Needless to say the people who open their doors and let their dogs fly out into the park, leash and owner-less in their charge, make me nervous.

The fellow whose dog rushed up, hackles raised to us the other day, owner yards away, and yelling at me to hit his dog as it circled mine (seriously dude?) was part of the reason I changed when I walk the hound.

I agree, it is nice to have an area for your dog to run in.  I come from the farm, we had 365 acres for our dogs to roam. However, this was private property and no one else was supposed to be on it.

Even then, there were mishaps.  That however is another post.

I do not believe there is a Dog Poo Fairy.

You may laugh at me for picking up after my leashed dog, carrying my garbage to the bin, looking out the window when I hear screams in the park or any of the other things that it seems stupid to do, but all these things are like the offshoot of manners, like saying excuse me after I burp (which some people I know personally, refuse to do).

I can laugh at the silly things that happen, and shake off the feeling that someone thinks I am an idiot, because at the end of the day, what I do does not leave a mess or negative impression on others, if I can help it.

No one is perfect.

Myself and my dog included.

Oh, by the way, my dog believes there IS a dog poo fairy.

After she goes, she tries to dash off and when I stop her, she stays at the end of the leash because well, can’t get too close to that now can we?

I explained to her the other day, that most humans, seem to feel like she does.

Yet as she tip toes through other dogs mess, I think she wishes that their owners, were more like me.

Then again, she is constantly amused by me.

Red Box

Watch your step around here.

3s…one of those days just beginning

or

As things happen in 3’s
we are waiting for the 3rd and final shoe to drop
so
no walking under ladders
avoid elevators
triple check before crossing the street
make sure all texts and emails are going to the right person if they have intimate content
handle the dog and computers like fine porcelain
and don’t take pills from strangers (ya ok we don’t but just a general reminder)
If I left anything obvious out
fill in the blanks

Mishap 1

New car purchased by Housemate, male 1, broke down on the way to work with 50.00 of gas inside.

Mishap 2

Housemate 2 was making toad in the hole, filled the blender with the liquid and had not screwed the bottom on so flooded blender and counter.

~blender still works~

Catastrophe 3

as yet unassigned.